Today marks 2 weeks from the horrific tragedy in Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newtown, CT. I can't put into words how I feel about everything that happened. I cried. A lot. I held my daughter... I get nervous every time I leave her at school in the morning, something I think will be with me for the rest of my life... I focused so much of my attention to those families only about 150 miles from me, and the feeling of heartache is unbearable.
I'd like to say that the 2 weeks that I've been missing on my blog was due to those tragedy's, but it wasn't. It was due to me.
I got on the scale Thursday night, the 13th... and weighed 190.4. That was awesome. Amazing.. I was SO proud. So proud that my husband took me out to dinner.
And I ate.. Figuring I'd get back on program the next day.
But I didn't.
With everything on the news about those poor people, the families, the horror.. I ate. That was my excuse. Sad excuse, but an excuse all its' own.
THEN, I got news that my dog was sick. Moderate heart disease. He'll be on heart meds for the rest of his life... So of course, I ate some more..
The the end of the world was coming on 12/21/12... So I ATE.. I figured if I"m going down, I'm going down after eating BBQ Ribs and cheese fries, instead of a darn salad. Alas... 12/22/12 we were all still here.. and so was the weight I gained from that lovely meal.
Then came Christmas...
The a mild case of pneumonia. Fun. 3 hours in the doctors office yesterday, blood pressure at 152/93; heart rate 98 bps. (I was nervous combined with furious after waiting forever to be called while sitting in a waiting room with tons of people who sound like the choir from "deaths door, the Musical")
So here I am. Trying to find the correct path to travel down from here to fix the issues I have set for myself. I feel that I have so much to live for, and I'm not living the proper way.
Still not feeling 100%, not wearing my fitbit.. and not truly focused.. my goal is to jump on this horse as soon as I'm feeling healthier. And my deadline is New Years eve... I'm making a resolution, that will be announced in another post, once I figure it all out.. and I intend to stick to it.
No more 2 week breaks,
This challenge would never work if I did 1 week on, 2 weeks off.
That'd be awesome though, wouldn't it?
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